Let me set the stage for this post by sharing this photo. This is the weather we would be walking through today, except imagine the clouds grayer in early morning. From below, you could hardly see the seemingly "neverendingness" of the first pass we would be walking up through, with a second pass right up on its heels.
Given that the start of a two pass day fell after my sixth night of little sleep, I began the day in tears, begging the Lord for His help, as I knew I had nothing in me that could accomplish what we needed to. I did not dress my children or self warmly enough in the morning, as I never expected the weather we would encounter most of the day. It looked like this...
If you're not sure what will break you as a parent or a person, I can tell you two things that will: 1) When you have no strength and you beg God to stop horrible weather, and He chooses not to; and 2) When your child is crying for what seems like hours, and you can't fix it. I experienced both today. I will never know why God did not stop that snow from falling when we were so cold, but I do know that He carried me when I couldn't do it... or at least let a horse do it part of the way. When my little girl was so cold, I made her walk with me up the pass to warm her feet, and He even helped me carry her part of the way up on my back. If you know me, you know I don't exactly look robust. We made it over two passes, the second of which was over 18,000 feet. At the top, her horse guide wrapped my little girl with her tear stained cold face in his big coat. As we mounted her back on the horse, other porters warned, "It's really downhill. Be careful." He proudly said, "You wouldn't believe what this girl has ridden a horse through. She can do it."
We did make it that night though there were times I thought I would just keel over, and no one would ever know I was gone. Though I threatened to throw my child off the horse if she didn't stop crying. Though the kids were so cold when we arrived I thought I had made a huge mistake. But. We. Made. It.
Our gracious teammates had our tent nearly up before I even arrived in the camp so I could get in and warm the kids up. They brought hot tea and a warm dinner, asking nothing of us in return. And you know what? I finally slept. We all slept... like 12 hours!
Given that the start of a two pass day fell after my sixth night of little sleep, I began the day in tears, begging the Lord for His help, as I knew I had nothing in me that could accomplish what we needed to. I did not dress my children or self warmly enough in the morning, as I never expected the weather we would encounter most of the day. It looked like this...
If you're not sure what will break you as a parent or a person, I can tell you two things that will: 1) When you have no strength and you beg God to stop horrible weather, and He chooses not to; and 2) When your child is crying for what seems like hours, and you can't fix it. I experienced both today. I will never know why God did not stop that snow from falling when we were so cold, but I do know that He carried me when I couldn't do it... or at least let a horse do it part of the way. When my little girl was so cold, I made her walk with me up the pass to warm her feet, and He even helped me carry her part of the way up on my back. If you know me, you know I don't exactly look robust. We made it over two passes, the second of which was over 18,000 feet. At the top, her horse guide wrapped my little girl with her tear stained cold face in his big coat. As we mounted her back on the horse, other porters warned, "It's really downhill. Be careful." He proudly said, "You wouldn't believe what this girl has ridden a horse through. She can do it."
We did make it that night though there were times I thought I would just keel over, and no one would ever know I was gone. Though I threatened to throw my child off the horse if she didn't stop crying. Though the kids were so cold when we arrived I thought I had made a huge mistake. But. We. Made. It.
Our gracious teammates had our tent nearly up before I even arrived in the camp so I could get in and warm the kids up. They brought hot tea and a warm dinner, asking nothing of us in return. And you know what? I finally slept. We all slept... like 12 hours!
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